Vulnerability Part 1 - No holding back

Vulnerability Part 1

Martha, with her sister Mary and brother Lazarus, lived in the small Judean town of Bethany, a few miles from Jerusalem. When Jesus was in the area, He would often stop and pay the trio a visit. The three siblings were Jesus’ dear friends, their home was His home - a place for Him to really rest, and take refuge from the demanding crowds that followed Him everywhere. They knew each other very well.

In John 11, we read that Lazarus has become ill, and subsequently dies.

Both sisters unexpectedly find themselves in a tragic situation, their lives turned upside down from one moment to the next.

So when he (Jesus) heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.” John 11:6

Imagine the emotions and thoughts swirling around Martha’s head when Jesus chose NOT to come immediately to Bethany - two women would now be left with no male protection, leaving them exposed.  There was no NHS, no medicines or clever doctors. With Lazarus this ill, their only hope was Jesus. No doubt she had heard about all the wonderful miraculous healings that He had done - she knew that He loved them, and yet Lazarus had died with no apparent effort on Jesus’ behalf to turn this awful situation around. I think Martha was very disappointed.

Earlier, on another occasion recorded by Luke 10 38-40, in the midst of making food that Jesus had perhaps not even requested, with frustration and irritation building at not being helped by Mary, Martha blurts out to Jesus, ‘don’t you care that my sister has left me to serve alone. Tell her then to help me’.

A no holding back response. She did not pretend, she did not withdraw. She did not suppress her feelings out of politeness or out of wanting to be super spiritual or to impress.

Sharing your innermost feelings with another person is good, but even better to do it with God - He won’t misunderstand you or judge you or use it against you, manipulating your vulnerability.

But it does take courage and can feel scary.

When was the last time that you poured out your complaint, your frustration, your anger in total honesty to God?  Revealing our deepest needs takes nothing away from His love for us. When we know that we are loved by God, there is a safe space there for the whole of who we are, not just the nice, kind parts, but the selfish, irritated, annoyed bits as well.

Rather than offloading on Him, we tend to mutter and murmur to ourselves or to others, we complain and grumble, sometimes we boil and rage, as if He who sees everything, doesn’t see our distress. We often choose to present ourselves to God in a certain acceptable way. We don't want Him to see the bits of us that we don't like.

We are all guilty of demanding to know why God doesn’t answer the longings of our heart, the way we want it done, and when we want it done. But from my experience, we will rarely get an answer to the “W” questions - the what, why and where?

You see, I think that we are asking the wrong questions! I believe that the only question that will be answered when we are confronted with tragedy, trauma or a crisis, is this, ‘how can I process this situation, so that I can ultimately become more like Jesus?’

Note that Martha doesn't ask any questions. She chooses to leave her home, John 11 verse 20, meeting Jesus en route.  She confronts Jesus with her disappointment and her sense of betrayal - she exposes the rawness of her heart in the no holding back statement that she makes - ‘If you had been here   brother would not have died’ (verse 21)

We cannot really know God unless we are willing to be vulnerable.  Our God is not distant or cruel, He is not  demanding, or critical, He is not disinterested. He is love. He will not withdraw from you, He does not pass you over. He is love 

Your Heavenly Father is the only one who accepts you as you are, He is the only one who won’t let you down, abandon you, reject you or die - He won’t betray you or humiliate you. HE IS LOVE.

Martha knew this.

A Prayer

Dear Father,

It would be so good to be able to be really honest with you - to be totally myself with you. This is what I really want, but I find it hard.

Please would you help me to take some small steps towards this goal - help me to know that you will never reject me, no matter what I say to you.

Give me courage to open up to you, I pray.

In Jesus’ name.

Amen.